After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
