so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
