East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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