I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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