I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
