Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
