I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
