Tell her she can't have a vagina
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
