So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
