So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
tell me about the fingering
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