This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
