I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
