She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm sobbing to NWA
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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