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i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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