if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
