you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
