How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
