I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
