I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
