I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you traded sex for a burrito?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
