it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
