But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I had to cum in my sink.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
