it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
