Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
