I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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