What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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