And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
