Even the bartender felt bad for me
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
