Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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