we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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