Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
