Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm bleeding and have questions
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
