in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
