i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
