I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
