A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I want to be your penis for a week.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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