This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
