He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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