I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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