Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
