That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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