Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
how can u be prego again
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
