he thought i was a dude.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
