What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
