would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
