Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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