do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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