Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
