He asked to "fluff my boner.."
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
