The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
