My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
